If you cannot take a joke then do not sign-on! has been a maxim of Seafarers, Worldwide, for many years. Relatively low pay, long hours and many months away from home has created, in the Seafarer, a need to open his mind to the lighter side of life. Humour is all around uso The fact that what one perso n finds funny another finds tiresome can be a problem. The age old saying that, "You can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time," is as true today as it was at the beginning of time. But if you can please virtually all of the people most of the time and then strive to improve on that then you are maintaining an upward curve and things can only get better. With this book I have attempted to show the humour that exists in everyday life aboard QE2. It may not be everyone's 'cup of tea' as we English quaintly put it, but the 24,000 passengers or so that have attended my Navigation Talks during the past four years aboard both the QE2 and formerly the Cunard Princess, cannot all be wrong. It is their enthusiasm and encouragement, both verbal and literal that has resulted in this publication.